General talk

Q: What did the Siberian puppy say when he coughed?
A: Pardon me … I’m a little husky!

As an Arsenal supporter myself, I have to say that it is not only Spurs fans who think the club full of arseholes: on occasions when we don’t play well – like in the first half of last night’s Premier League match against Liverpool – even our own fans think the club is full of arseholes.

I was at the Emirates Stadium match last evening, watching the game from the East Stand Lower Tier. We were absolutely shit in the first half, giving the ball away too many times, being inaccurate with our passing, and having not a single shot on target. We went a goal down though Philippe Coutinho, and could – probably should – have been more behind. The spectators around me were not happy, to put it mildly. At one point, a schoolboy error – of which there were innumerable from us in that half – led to a Liverpool having a clear chance straight on goal. Petr Čech saved from point-blank range, and the rebound was bicycle-kicked over the bar. We were already a goal down at that stage, we should have been in hotter waters, but it was a huge let-off for us. And yet the spectators around me, instead of heaving sighs of relief, were up in arms, fuming against the textbook error that led to the golden opportunity for the visitors in the first place. (It all happened so quickly I could not see who was who on the pitch – but I believe it was Sadio Mané who hooked over the bar.) When the half-time whistle was blown by referee Martin Atkinson, the boos round the stadium were deafening.

We improved in the second half – but not before Liverpool got an early second goal through Mohamed Salah. That seemed to kick us into our senses at last, and all of a sudden we were out of this world. A minute or so after going two down, we got a goal at last with our first attempt on target, Alexis Sánchez charging into the box to head home Héctor Bellerín’s cross. That was just the start of a crazy five-minute spell, when we were suddenly out of this world. A couple of minutes later, we were level, Granit Xhaka netting his first goal (in all competitions) of the season with a left-footed strike outside the penalty box. And there was hardly time to catch one’s breath back when Mesut Özil made it three – from 0–2 down to 3–2 up in five minutes! We were in wonderland! If we had played like this for so much as five minutes in the first half, things could have been so much different.

Then again given our performance – not to mention our lucky stars – in the first half, we probably didn’t deserve to win. Roberto Firmino made sure of poetic justice by levelling up for the Reds (playing in orange on the night) with a strike that Čech appeared to save well only for the ball to drift flukishly over the line. But the players’ much improved second-half performance ultimately saved them from the fans’ wrath. At the final whistle, there were no boos, just mild applause and acceptance of the poetic justice that had been served.

My favourite breed of dog is the Border Collie.

I was at the Manor House, Wanstead, the other day when I saw a Labrador Retriever.

The Dachshund literally takes its name from the German for “badger dog”.

I suppose its slender shape allowed it to easily go down the tunnels of badger setts and flush out the unfortunate inhabitants – something I sincerely hope to goodness is no longer practised today, not in the UK at any rate.

Is this an Irish Setter? Or a Cocker Spaniel?

Or a cross between the two?

Is this a Border Terrier?

Is this a Greyhound?

Is this a Siberian Husky or an Alaskan Malamute?

I saw it at the Hollow Ponds, between Leyton and Leytonstone, last April. At first I thought it must be a husky because of its eyes, which I thought were pale blue. But it was a big dog – bigger than what I now feel a husky ought to be.

Serena Gordon, who appears in this episode, played Ginny Sharp in another episode of Midsomer Murders.

“Market for Murder”, the Midsomer Murders episode in which Serena Gordon appears as Ginny Sharp, is on ITV3 right now.

Welsh Corgi?

I love Fiona Glascott. She is in the episode “After the Funeral” of Agatha Christie’s Poirot, which has just been shown on ITV3. Why, she is even whiter and more beautiful than Alice Levine.

I saw this Akita in Hackney town centre today.

I overheard a fellow passer-by saying “Japanese Akita” – though googling suggests it might be more likely an American one.

Did Irish eyes just smile at me at The Chequers, Walthamstow?

I saw a Pomeranian on my way to work on a Bakerloo-line train from Harrow & Wealdstone to Oxford Circus this evening.

I will be working nights for the next four weeks, excepting weekends and the Easter holiday. I might need a week off after that.